Leveraging Regret for the Best Year Ever Episode 38

 How did you see the past year going? 

What are the goals that you set out to accomplish in 2022?

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Transcript

Angel: 0:00

what's going on, family? Welcome back to another episode of the Judge Yo Mama podcast in today's episode. We're gonna do it a little different. Okay. Y'all roll with me today? Okay. Cause it's going to be a little different. Y'all know how I like to, you know, always try some things, right? And the thing that I love about podcasting is you can make it your own. Right? It doesn't have to look like anybody else's show. It doesn't have to be like anybody else. What's unique to you? What makes you feel good? What motivates you? Go with that and if it helps your people along the way, do it. Boo. Do you boo boo? Okay, now, right? Cause y'all know, sometimes I like to just throw in some ocean sounds. Y'all remember that? Where we were reflecting and meditating and y'all was listening to the ocean? Y'all remember that one? Did y'all like that one? Y'all let me know in the comments if that was y'all one, if that was the one for you, either any who? Let's get into this episode./So, you know, I'm reading this book The Best Year Ever about Michael Hyatt is a really great book. And in chapter two he was talking about regret. So I have a few questions. So if we're gonna work through. Maybe about two or three of these questions together. So question number one says, how did you see the past year going? How did you see the past year going? And I want you to think about your goals, right? What are the goals that you set out to, to accomplish in 2022 that maybe you didn't accomplish, or maybe you did. But again, question number one. Is how did you see the first year going? Whew. yall go head, I'm thinking through it. How did you see the first year going? I'll say for me, I thought that I would see. My family. And speaking of my immediate family, like me, my husband, my kids, honestly, I, I thought that I would see us in a more financially stable situation. I really thought that we would be experiencing a level of financial stability. That we had never, we had never experienced since our, our marriage, because I know I share all the time. Like I was let go for my corporate job one month before my wedding. So we had two incomes and then a month before the wedding, we wore down on one income. That's a whole thing, yada, yada y. I think it was December 15th. That just resonates. December 15th. I want to be making X amount of dollars ones who have made X amount of dollars in my business by December 15th. I mean, we got a couple more days. I just wanna say, honestly just being fully transparent. I am not there. I don't think that I've shared in this space, but if you follow me on social media then you may have seen that back in July. My husband was in a a trucking accident on a job that he was training for. And he was beat up pretty bad, had to have surgery stitches the whole, the whole thing. And so he's been out of work since July of this year. Y'all work is comp. Yep. If you know, you know, I don't have to, I don't got a harp on it. So we went from having, like, cuz you know, when you're entrepreneur and you're in business, your finances are really not as stable. I think that's, I've shared with people like, and I've shared with y'all, entrepreneurship is not for. Right. Entrepreneurship is not for those who need that steady, steady check. You gotta be cool with the, the ebbs and flows, right? Sometimes it's real high and you making money at the wazu, and then the next month it's dry. It's the Sahara, it's okay. It's, it's just not there. So you gotta be cool with the highs and the lows. But if you somebody who just need, I just need consistency. You might wanna get you a nine to five and you might wanna stay there for. Like to retirement. Okay. Cause entrepreneurship is not that. There's some consistency to a degree, right? But you gotta know your numbers and you have to have a certain business models to help create that consistency, right? Sometimes you can make a hundred thousand dollars. One year and then make 45 the next year. Okay. It's just, it's a risk, but it's a beautiful risk if you're up for the challenge. Right. So how did you see this year going? I told y'all, I thought we was just gonna be rolling. Not, I mean, not rolling in the door, but in a good place. With some type of financial stability. Right. Some kind of something cuz it's been. It's been interesting these past couple years. One year, y'all know this little story cuz I'll write a book about it or something. But that's that. So yeah, that's how I saw the year going. Financial stability that, and that's just one, one aspect. Number two says, what were your plans, your dreams, your concrete goals, if you had any? So I had three big goals that I was focusing on because I'm learning, I can't have all these different things cuz then I'd be mad at the end of the year cuz I didn't do all of, so I, I'm always going now from here on out, I'm going with the big three. Alright. And I remember I wanted to make a certain amount of money in my. That was one. I had a date on it. I had the amount. But let me tell you something. One thing I never did do that I'm doing this year that I actually wrote out a couple days ago is how I'm going to get that money. I just wrote out the amount and I wrote out the date, but I didn't write out a plan of how to get it right. Doing something a little different this year. We're gonna talk about it in a second. Let's just, let's roll. The second goal was I wanted to find a church community where there was a place where not only my husband and I could go and grow but I wanted my kids to have a space for them to go and to grow as well. So, Oh, number three, I wanted to do a retreat. It's. It's coming. I don't know if it'll be the end of 2023 or the beginning of 2024, but it's coming. But I didn't launch a retreat or anything this year, but that's what my heart is. All right, the last question that we're gonna talk about, and share. I want y'all to ponder a little bit again. Are y'all writing this down? Let me pause for a second. Y'all writing this down? Are y'all reflecting? Hmm hmm what the old people say. I ain't doing this for my health I love y'all. I wanna share the wealth with y'all. I wanna share the knowledge and the wisdom with y'all. That's it. Now, back to. So question number three, what disappointments or regrets did you experience this past year? A disappointment that I've experienced this year is again, not meeting my financial goal. That's one Another disappointment is I didn't stick to one of my boundaries and that was as it pertains to business, I said that there were specific. Task cuz you know I have a virtual assistant business. If you don't know now, you know, you know, I didn't stick to my boundaries and I said that this are, these are the services that I offer and I'm not gonna offer these services over here. I found myself on discovery calls. saying that I would offer services that I just, that didn't resonate with me. And then tweaking my packages and pricing to fit other people. Now let me, disclaimer, you can do whatever you wanna do, how you wanna do it, boo long as you cool with it, all right? Long as it resonate with you, long as you. You can do whatever you wanna do. Okay? If you wanna tweak your packages, do you wanna do custom packages and lower your prices to fit Some do that, okay? But for me and my convictions and what I was working through, I did not honor the boundaries that I set what that looked like, that caused me to spend more time away from my kids, for the people who didn't even sign the contract. So now I spent all this time catering this custom package, agreeing to do services that I said I didn't want to do only for someone to not sign the contract. Big disappointment in myself sometimes it's hard for me to say regret because it's just, you know, kind of one of those words that you've heard people say, don't, you shouldn't regret anything. It is what it is. Okay. Regret is defined as a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. That's just what it is. It's a real word, and so I need to kind of get comfortable. With saying it is what it is. Right? And in this chapter of the Best Year ever book, it's not for us to focus solely and on the regrets and have a pity party and be like, whoa is me. If y'all know me, y'all know. There might be a moment where I'm just kind of down and feeling a little defeated, but I don't stay down and I'm not the type of person to sit around and complain and to do the woe is me partying and that ain't me like, I don't like the feeling of being defeated. I do not like the feeling of just being in a stuck place. When you are overwhelmed with defeat and disappointment and regret, and you allow yourself to stay there and waddle in that spot, you get stuck. And if y'all don't know nothing, I'm gonna share what it is that I need to share. Do what it is that I need to do. Cuz I am determined to show other people, especially women, moms, single moms, married moms, like you have unlimited possibilities. But you gotta get real, real with yourself. You gotta be cool with yourself. You gotta get, be in a relationship with your. Right. One thing, this is completely not what I was gonna talk about today, but one thing I noticed in my single season is any time that I got off focus, any time that I ended up attracting the situation, chip, y'all know, y'all know what I'm talking about. Don't get on here and act like y'all don't know what a situation ship is. And if you don't know, look up. Look it. in the Urban Dictionary on Google. Anytime I found myself linked up to or attracting somebody who I found out later in the beginning, you know, you'd be thinking it's innocent, but later they don't really be about nothing. Anytime I found myself in that kind of season, that kind of situation, it was because I was off focused. I was. Task. I was not focusing on the thing that I believed God had called me to do. I was out here chilling, bruh. I and I will never forget the year in 2017 when I started, y'all remember when I did a, a, a life coaching program? Y'all remember when I launched that? Gold crushes? Gold crushes? Where y'all at? Yo, if y'all got a shirt, take a picture. It could be a rag now, but still take a picture and send it to me. y'all remember? I started a whole thing, did a whole, spent all this money on a whole branding photo shoot only to get to a place of feeling insecure and defeated and giving it up no longer investing in myself, which is why I'm here, doing what I'm doing now, reading, investing in myself, in in different programs and different courses with different coaches and different books. so that I can continue to feed my mind. And as I'm doing that, I'm just sharing it with y'all on here because this holds me accountable, right? Y'all hold me accountable, and then even my drive to see y'all succeed. Shoot, to see myself to succeed, to see my kids succeed, to see my husband succeed, to see my mom succeed, to see my mom have all of the things that I desire for her to have all the things that she's wanted to have, right? There is a. With my mama's name on it that I'm gonna purchase, but I gotta keep going, right? I need to invest in myself and stay aligned with what God has for me. But I'll never get there if I'm focusing on all of the things, because of the fear that you're gonna experience, regret because of the fear. It might not work out well. Guess what? It'll never work out if you don. that's what it is. And I, and I believe I shared in some episodes ago that I am committed to failing faster. I'm about to launch some things and do some things. I don't know the outcome. Back in the day, I used to be afraid of not knowing the outcome. Now, angel, you're gonna be upset either way, like you're gonna be upset if it don't work out. You're gonna be upset if you don't even try. You might as well. Because there's a possibility that you succeed in. Honestly, it's a possibility that you could fail. Oh, well learn from the failure. Keep going. That's where I am. So I said out to that to say, find your focus. Watch your focus. Single ladies. Even some married ones, where's your focus? Are you too focused on what your husband doing or not doing? What you supposed to be doing? Boo, and I can only say this from experience, right? I can only say this because this is a day to day thing that I have to battle in my mind. It's so easy to get focused on what somebody else not doing, and you need to be focused on what you doing. What are you attracting in your life? If you're attracting things to people who don't mean nothing, who ain't about nothing, ain't got nothing. Check yourself, check your focus. So today we're talking about regret So what are some disappointments and regrets that you experienced? I regret not breaking down each month and saying, this is how I'm gonna attain a goal. I also. Not allowing myself to share more of my business. My business isn't what I'm working on for whatever reason. I'm sure it was multiple reasons over the years, and it can all probably go back to well, angel, what if you put this out here and then you give it up like two weeks later? Well, I'm still here. I'm still podcasting. All right. I'm, I'm still running a. Along with podcasting. We're still here. Angel, I think you're gonna keep going, right? And even if you decide to call it quits next year, still show up, still give your all still be who it is that God has called you to be. In this book, he talks about the perspective of regret. And he mentioned like reflecting on your mistakes is very important. It's very critical to avoiding those mistakes in the future. So if we're aware, right, if we take the time to write out, like we wrote out our goals, hopefully I. Oh, we wrote'em out. If not, we gonna do a new thing this year. We gonna write'em out today. We're gonna write'em out this year. Write out your goals, but also take some time again to reflect on the past. What happened was a mistake or a regret that you didn't write out your goals. Okay, do something different this year and we're gonna write out what our disappointments are. What regrets do we have, right? And how can we now? Take them from internal, right, and make them external. Now it's like, oh, I, I think I can do something about that. Sometimes we allow things to stay stuck in here when we just need to get'em out somewhere. They don't mean go a word vomit on somebody. No. Put it on some paper all right. Maybe there. You might find that you might need to chance with somebody, but that ain't what we we talking about today. Today we are talking about putting it in lead journal. putting it in journal. reflecting on our mistakes or our disappointments, they're critical. They're very critical so that we. Can avoid making those same mistakes in the future. Again, I realized that, yeah, I set a goal for how much money I wanna make and the date, but did I build a plan? Like did I reverse engineer that thing? Did I work it backwards and say, oh, that means I need to make this amount of money doing this, and if I wanna make this amount of money doing. Then how much is that a month and how much is that a a week? And how much is that a day? And what services do I currently have? Or what things or products do I currently have that will make me that amount of money? Did I do that? No, I didn't. I just set the goal and just thought it was, I guess I thought the lawyer was just gonna drop it and the Lord was like, I mean, I can do it, but I called you to do specific things, so do that, boo. Okay. Another perspective of regret is it gives us the motivation to change if we. Allow it, right? If we challenge our perspective on regret, it gives us the motivation to change And if we're honest, it gives us direction. I'll say this, going against my boundaries in business and not sticking to like my prices or my prices and not sticking to my services or my services. And I'm not gonna do anything outside of the scope of what it is that I enjoy doing that has caused me to pivot and the way I conduct business that's caused me to pivot in the way that I communicate what I'm. That has caused me to say, I no longer wanna serve in this arena or communicate these services and I wanna do this right. This has caused me to say, I wanna go from offering general VA support to now I wanna move into podcast management, this is where I flourish. This is what I do anyway. This is what I enjoy doing anyway. Why not help other brands, businesses, coaches, authors, entre? Do that very thing that I enjoy doing. All right, so that was point number one, the perspective of regret, like shifting how we view regret. And now point number two talks about gratitude and how gratitude causes us to switch from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. Scarcity is, I don't have enough. I can't do it because they won't do this. Or, and, and it, and it causes you to look at all of the things. Are around you that you don't have, I could easily say, well, I didn't have the money to invest, or I could easily say, well, my clients didn't have the money to do X, Y, Z, or, I didn't have the website, or I didn't have the social media following, and da, da, da, da, da. When you switch your mindset to abundance is, I have everything that I need. The skills that I have right now to get me to. Like where I'm supposed to be in my next, I have that the money that I, I need to investigate to me, to my next. I have that. And if I don't literally have it, I have what I need to figure out how to get it. You see what I'm saying? When I started to say, I wanna do video podcasting, but no, I don't have the camera and the this and the that, and the third. But I do have a ring light that we purchased years ago and I still got my microphone. And they still see the ring lights in your glasses. And who are you? I'm still gonna show up the way I'm showing up. Right. With my, my$30 ring light and my iPhone is the same way. I'm gonna show up when I have the a hundred thousand dollars set up and, and the full camera crew helping me to record a podcast and the shows that I'm gonna do, I'm, I'm still gonna be me. You're still gonna get this angel, because these outside things are no longer gonna. what I allow myself to do and walk into an experience. But it starts with your mindset. it starts from you letting go of the, I don't have enough. The people aren't gonna listen. I don't have the following to the people who supposed to hear me, I'm gonna find them and they will find. The clients that I'm supposed to have, I, I, they're there, they're already there. I just gotta put myself out there. I regret, there are so many people that are finding me and they're like, angel, I never knew you did this. And I'm like, bro, I could have been making more money sooner than this had. I even let people know like, what I'm doing, like what really? So we not doing that 2023, we ain't doing that. But shoot, right now we ain't doing it. Y'all gonna know. Know that gratitude challenges your perspective, a place of. God. I'm, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for what I have. I'm thankful for the money that I do have. I'm thankful for the equipment that I have. I'm thankful for the following that I have right now on social media. I'm thankful for my three riders and my coaching crew, right? I'm thankful for the people who do believe in me. I am grateful that I have the ability to even speak with sanity and clarity. As I wrap this up, y'all, Really work through the questions. Really ride out the questions and your responses, and then look at ways to challenge your perspective, because believe it or not, you have the ability to change yourself. You have the ability to. Shift your approach to things, if we assess the disappointments, if we assess the regrets, we can use this as leverage. To have a way better the year than last year if we shall choose to, but you gotta be honest with yourself. You gotta get real with yourself and say, you know what? I did let myself down. You know what? I do regret this. You know what? I could have been better at this. I could have really honed my skills on this, or I could have just trusted my decision and stuck with that. So you gotta shift your approach. You gotta allow yourself to see the possibilities. I need to now pursue it and allow myself to pursue the unlimited possibilities that are just waiting for. To show up, waiting for me to bet on me. And let me tell you something, I'm already in 2023. Okay? We're already putting it. I'm not waiting for January one to start right now. There are some things you ain't gonna see until January just for measuring purposes for me. But you going, I'm already living in it. I'm already. Accepting what is I, and it's not that I'm so ready to get outta 2022. That's not the case. So old people also told me, don't wish your life away, and I'm not wishing my life away. What I'm doing is I am appreciating now, but I'm also planning ahead and planning for my future and what I desire and what, so that when I get there I can assess it and I can have it right, What do people say? That's it. That's the episode. That's all I got for you. All right, so again, if you are passionate and you're determined to accomplish your goals, thank you for staying tuned to the end. I wanna let y'all in on a secret. I am. Starting a membership accountability group for female entrepreneurs. We're gonna get together at least once a week to work through ways. To pour into ourselves, right? So we're gonna be doing some book reads. We're gonna be bringing in some experts in different fields to share their wisdom and their knowledge and their insight as it pertains to personal development and personal growth. but as an entrepreneur, because I don't know about nobody else, but I don't know if y'all seen the fine print when y'all decided to be an entrepreneur, but it's a lot. Okay. One of the key things that allows you to have longevity as an entrepreneur, I believe it's investing in yourself. Investing in your personal growth. Cuz even if the business feels at least you can grow, right? You can learn, You are the business and the more you know, the more you can apply and the more you can. So I got a accountability group coming up that's launching in January, but guess what? You don't have to wait until January to join. It's only$47 a month. If you would love to be a part of that group, please click the link in the show notes or in the description below. Head to my Instagram page and send me a. Let me know. Say I want in. Alright. Send me a DM and say, I want in. I want in, I want and if you join before the new year, I might have a little discount. Legacy founding members code for you. I don't know. Let's see. But you gotta hit me up. You had to hit me up before January. But either way join, come and join in. I have a little mini group that's already started and it's just been phenomenal, like meeting with women on a weekly basis to talk about our goals, to hold each other accountable, to have a community alongside you on this journey like ever since I've started this accountability business group, the clarity in my own personal life, right? The things that I'm showing up and saying, Hey, you gotta make a decision on this. It's like, yo Angel, you gotta make a decision as well. So not only are we holding each other accountable, but we're also growing we're doing, and this is not the first time that I've had a group like this, like I've had an accountability group before and it was so helpful and beneficial that the people started going out and doing the things in which they were called to do. So I'm bringing it back around, but this time we're gonna have a cost because how many of you know. You gonna show up where your money at, wherever you gonna put your money, you gonna be like, let me show up. And so sometimes we need that. We need, if you really about this life, if you're really about succeeding in business and in life, this is the group for you ladies. So come join me on this journey. There are gonna be moments where we going key, key it up. We're gonna learn. And we might even shed Aug tier, right? But only the people in the group gonna know. If you're not in the group, you, you ain't gonna know. Okay? But that's the, that's the end of the episode and until next week y'all, I love y'all. Go be great in peace.